5 Tips for Dads During Labor

I believe the first words out of my mouth after giving birth to our son was, “We did it”. I felt in my bones that my husband was the anchor I needed to keep my mind and body above water, when the going got really tough. I couldn’t have made the baby without him, and I don’t think I would have accomplished my goal of unmedicated vaginal birth without him either.

1. You are the Gate Keeper

You are what stands between her birth sanctuary, and the rest of the world. Throughout the pregnancy, and definitely in birth, you might feel powerless. You cannot push for her, you can not breath for her.. but you can stand guard and witness her mind-blowing strength… You can help protect her from her own doubts, and the pressures from strangers in the room.

Depending on the stage of labor, your partner won’t be able to speak. Advocate for her. Know her plan, her expectations, her desires in advance, and voice them to the rest of the birth team when need be. (Example: If she doesn’t want to be strapped to a monitor the whole time, and the nurses start to put one on her, kindly tell them that she prefers intermittent monitoring. Or if she wants to be continually monitored, ask for a wireless option so she can walk around freely, take a shower, etc..)

Often hospitals are in autopilot and assume that it is business as usual. And it is easy to feel overwhelmed and like a fish out of water when you are about to have a baby and in an unfamiliar environment, like a hospital.

2. Read the Room

There will be a time for jokes, when comic relief can be like medicine, and other times, even a sensual loving touch will piss her the hell off. So, read the room! :)

You often wont get an answer from her, or even know what to say while she goes through different waves of intensity, emotion, energy, and fatigue.

Watch her breathing.

Ask her, “What is your body telling you?”.

It is hard work, but stay in the moment! I have seen partners or other members of the birth team completely out of sync from the birthing mama. Gossip between nurses, giggles, or leaving her alone as another surge is coming. (My delivery nurse was really upset about Starbucks being closed.)

3. Holding Space

“Holding Space” can kinda sound woo-woo. Like what does that even mean?

Imagine you are in a challenging situation— a really important pitch, or job interview, a boxing fight, or even a tough workout that you feel like you are about to quit any moment. Imagine any situation where you have felt a little scared, and uncertain about the outcome. … Now imagine standing behind you is a person who doubts you, or a person who is fearful for you. Even if that fear is coming from a place of love.

Now imagine there is a person standing behind you who feels like you fucking got this!!!!! They are calm and happy, their confidence in you is unshakeable.

That is what “holding space” means. Your energy, what you feel in your core, will have an effect on anyone in the room. So do what you have to do, so that you are prepared to be that rock.

4. Prepare

Don’t expect one birth class to be enough (that goes for mama too), and don’t expect the hospital staff to tell you what to do. Here is a quick list of things you should be familiar with, before your lady goes into labor.

• Pros and cons of Cytotec and Pitocin.

• Ways you can help your partner naturally produce Oxytocin. (Nipple stimulation, massage, running a warm bath.) Oxytocin is the key hormone that will cause labor, and keep labor going strong. Pitocin is synthetic oxytocin.

• Breathing techniques.

• Stages of labor, and why she might need space at some points, and full hands on support during others.

• Positions of labor and how you can physically support them and provide counter pressure to ease pain during contractions.

• Delayed cord clamping.

• How your partner feels about epidural, and if they would want you to just listen to them when they ask for it, or if they would like you to encourage them that they can go without it.

• Are there any health concerns that would lead the care provider to feel there this pregnancy is a “high risk”.

• Asses your own comfort level and tolerance for stress, blood, asking questions, or even politely challenging medical professionals (respectfully).

5. Pack Your Own Hospital Bag

(Unless you are having a home birth, and then in that case, just make sure the pantry is stocked with all the goodies.)

Be sure your lady has some healthy snacks for labor, but I am sure she is on top of that. But also make sure you have plenty of snacks for yourself. A bathing suit for yourself if she plans on laboring in the tubs or shower. A cozy hoodie for sleeping in, because hospital blankets are about as warm as a paper napkin… and so on.

What an Honor it is to Have You Here

Historically birth was no place for men, even the father of the child. My guess is you would be kept outside the home, and in charge of fetching more firewood. Birth was women’s work. But relationships and systems have changed, and I think it is beautiful the father is a key part of the experience. To watch your pregnant lover, bring a new life earth-side. To see their first breath, hear their first cry, and whisper a few sweet words into their tiny ears.

Birth is beautiful, so glad to have you here Dada.

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You might also like “Preparing for Birth”.

Baby Gear to Skip

You might have read my post about my “Minimalist Momma’s Must Haves”! And this is a continuation of what items I would skip, the second go around.

What do babies really need? A place to sleep, some cute clothes, and a few fun toys? Less is always more in my book. But there are some things that I reluctantly agree, came in handy.

Stuff We Wish We Skipped

Receiving Blankets I found these things to be useless. Before I had a baby I didn’t understand what the difference was between a “swaddle” and a “receiving blanket”. Swaddles are stretchy, breathable, and from my experience, a lot larger. A receiving blanket is thicker (warmer) but not stretchy enough to stay on your baby if you wrap them in it. And it’s too small to be a useful blanket.

Baby Swing This is the perfect example of how all babies are just different. For so many moms, this device was a life saver, and maybe the only way they could get their newborn to sleep. But I found it to be useful for such a short amount of time, I would rather just save the money and space. Also, the we had was designed so that the swinging stops after 30 min… and that will wake the baby up!! To turn it back on, you have to turn the knob that makes the LOUDEST clicking sound. WHY would they make it so loud? When they know parents are trying SO hard not to breathe, because it might wake the baby— why? (Perhaps other brands are better.)

Bottle Sterilizer I am sure there are a lot of moms out there, who wouldn’t want to live without a sterilizer. But I personally used mine about three times. I think that with a clean dish sponge, soap, and warm water, things are clean enough. There also have been some studies that show a little dirt can really do the body good, and build up those immune systems. And my pediatrician agrees!

Glad I Didn’t Buy

Burp Cloths I made my own for free! I was tossing out some of my husband’s t-shirts that he didn’t wear anymore and was like, hmmmm. And what do you know, you can cut the t-sirts into burp cloths, they are so soft, pack small, are absorbent, and free! And because of the material, they stay on your shoulder a lot better than other burp cloths.

Milk Warmer Do you know how fast a little bag of frozen breast milk will defrost in warm water? Fast! So if you have a bowl, or a beer glass, and some warm tap water, that is really all you need. Let the bag sit in the water for a few minutes, and you’re done!

Sit Me Up I was able to borrow one, but we hardly used it. I think it is to help your baby sit up before they can sit up on their own? I found that letting Amir sit and play with toys on the carpet gave him the core strength really quickly, he didn’t need to have pillows around him, or use this thing, to help him sit. As I said in my other post, the Bjorn Bouncer will work as far as being a containment device, as it will grow with them.

Less is More

Baby Clothes You will be doing laundry a LOT, so you don’t need to have 10 shirts, 10 pairs of pants, and 10 pajamas. Adults tend to wash cloths at the end of the week. But you will be doing laundry EVERY day. :) I found that if I had 10 onesies, I only used about 4 of my favorite ones, over and over.

Baby Bottles Because Amir primarily nursed, I also realized that I only needed one or two baby bottles… not all six that I thought I might need. If you plan on formula feeding, or will be pumping and bottle feeding, I am sure you would need more than 3.

Baby Shampoo I bought two bottles, and then was gifted another one. Our son is almost a year old and we are not even half way through the first bottle! Babies only need a tiny bit of soap for their baths, and you don’t need to use soap ever day, so a little will last you a long time.

The Reluctant Must Haves

A Chair You might be thinking, “What?”. But I don’t own one chair. I like to get down on the floor and eat, work, relax like a nomad. But, getting up and down off the floor at 3am while holding a newborn at your breast, and your stitches haven’t healed… a chair would come in REALLY handy. Thankfully after a week or so, my sister (also a mama) knew this! So she brought, her crazy floor sitting sister, a folding chair. So I don’t know about those really comfortable rocking chairs, but a chair, any chair… kinda good to have.

Video Monitor We live in an apartment, so it is pretty easy to hear what is going on, no matter what room you are in. I thought, “Ehh, what do we need a monitor for?”. Well, we got a video monitor, and I don’t know what I would do with out it!

Boppy Pillow/Lounger Not the kind that is used for breast feeding, but one that the baby can snuggle in when they are really small and sleeping all day. It also is a great photo prop! I find this thing totally useless after 3 months, but in the beginning we had it on the couch next to us, or on the floor as a cozy place for the baby to relax or nap.

Stroller This isn’t really a “must have”, but we do use it. I MUCH prefer to go the baby carrier rout! When I could bring my son into stores (pre COVID), I found it a million times easier to have him nestled to my body, and he loves it too. But I got a used stroller base that would fit my car seat, for just 20 bucks. And it is nice to have. Now that my son has outgrown his first carseat, we don’t use a stroller and we don’t plan on buying one. (But my mom tells me I am dead wrong! Haha.)

Pack-n-play These things are such an eye sore to me! But, it serves many purposes. It was what we used at night for Amir before we got a crib. You can take it to grandma and grandpa’s for the baby to nap in, and now I use it by the kitchen so I have a safe place for Amir to play while I wash dishes or cook. (We were not even going to get a crib, we were only going to use the pack-n-play as his crib. Because why have two things that serve the same purpose? But a friend had a beautiful crib that he was trying to get rid of, so we jumped at the opportunity.)

NJ Birth Photographer

Is Birth Photography Right for You?

We are used to seeing the pretty pictures of newborn babies. And who doesn’t love that?… But how did that perfect, tiny, sleeping angel get here?

In conversations with Erika after her birth, she told me that when she looks back at the photos she feels so empowered. She also said, that these photos mean more to her than photos of her wedding day!

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I had the honor of photographing Erika’s second birth. And she was AMAZING! All natural. I was so in awe of her strength. Her husband, normally a guy who loves to crack jokes and be super silly, was calm and present with her. He was attentive to support her in anyway he could, and offered words of encouragement.

I asked Erika some questions to help expecting mamas who might be interested or curious about having me photograph their birth. :)

Why did you want to have a photographer at your birth?

I decided that I wanted to have a birth photographer during my first pregnancy. we had documented so much of our journey as a couple already and I couldn’t imagine leaving this out. I knew that I wouldn’t be alone during my delivery, that medical staff would be present, so the idea of one more person being present didn’t bother me at all. I had seen so many romantic photos of labor and delivery on the others blogs and the power and beauty behind those images was something that stuck with me long after looking at them. The photos made me empowered and excited to give birth, not scared.

Why did you choose Sarah to be your birth photographer?

Sarah came recommended to us as a wedding photographer. I was struggling to find someone with her style. I was looking for someone who could capture candid moments that I might have otherwise missed. It was important that our photographer be someone who could quickly scan the room and see the beauty in the rawness of the moments, without everything being posed. Sarah’s style delivered. So it was an easy decision to have her also capture our birth, as those moments can’t be posed and the images rely on the photographers ability to capture candid moments that depict the emotions in that moment. It was also pretty special to have her be there for another one of the major moments in our family journey, as she’s been there for our engagement, wedding, maternity and family photos.

Would you do anything differently?

Absolutely nothing. It was such an amazing experience!

What was your biggest worry before birth, about having a photographer at your birth?

My biggest worry was having the photographer miss the delivery!

As I rushed into the room at 3:30am or something like that, Erika said “Sarah, Hurry!!!” This baby was coming fast! :) Unlike most events and photoshoots, birth can only be planned so much (basically not at all). Erika’s husband kept in close contact with me, he let me know that they were expected to head to the hospital over night, and so before I went to bed I set out all my clothes and my camera bag. And I kept my phone volume on high. I was so excited it was hard to sleep. And before the sun came up I was driving to the hospital!

Erika had told me that I should get a photographer for my first birth, a year later. And I thought about it! But I didn’t know what to expect, and wasn’t even sure who to ask. But looking back I really wish I took her advice!!! These are the only photos I have of the experience. And let me TELL you, this is NOT the full story, haha!

Let’s Talk!

If you are curious about having a birth photographer, or a photographer take some photos of that magical time following birth, we can discuss everything. No matter what your plan is, hospital or home birth, I would love to be there in that space with you.

I really hope to empower women with my photography, to capture a side of ourselves that we don’t yet know in the same way, as we will when we are giving birth. Birth is magical, wet, messy, natural, …beautiful. It is more real than anything, yet even when we see it with our own eyes or experience it personally, it is so hard to comprehend. There is so much mystery these days around birth, I want to normalize birth, breastfeeding, the body, and the human experience.

xo

Sarah

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Birth Story

It seems strange…

Because, a woman just experienced the most profound, mind bending, body changing, heart opening experience of her life, and people want to know, “How much did the baby weigh?”.

Perhaps it’s too personal? Maybe women don’t want to share their birth experience, so people just don’t ask? Instead, —“Is it a boy or a girl?”. But I think women do want to share. And I think the more that women share, the more they can be empowered by their experience, and the less mystery there will be around birth for first time moms.

Don’t sugar coat it, but…

I think, because so few ask how the mother is doing after birth, the only opportunity women have to share, is when other expecting moms are asking around for advice. And I have found that women just unload! And there are a lot of horror stories. Women should share what they went through, but perhaps blurting out how traumatic it was, or how crazy they would be to not get an epidural, isn’t exactly helpful.

I was so thankful for the few mothers who shared their empowering stories with me, I held onto their words in my head and heart. I hope that my story can paint a picture while also getting women excited about their birth experience!

I am an open book, and this is a happy story!

Fast forward 24 or so hours of labor… My eyes were closed tightly, all I could see was darkness and this white hot circle of pain, deep deep inside my belly. A force stronger than me, pulling me open from the inside, connecting this world with some other dimension. All I could hear was my husband’s voice, “You’re doing it, keep breathing”. He didn’t sound scared. But at this point, I was scared. For hours, contractions came one on top of the other, wave after wave… I was drowning. “Breathe”, he would say. My lungs expanded more deeply than ever in my life, but there was no air. How could I do this for 4 or 8 more hours?

It was a holiday weekend, and a full moon. Labor and Delivery at the hospital was full— every room. And they were short handed. My midwife was busy delivering two other babies, so she popped in when she got a chance. She and the nurse believed I still had a long way to go.

At this stage, I felt like I was loosing control. I just needed a break between contractions, there were supposed to be breaks! I just wanted this to be over, and they offered me an out. I don’t even remember this, but apparently I was pissed at the nurse for mentioning an epidural, and I said no. But, I remember asking myself, “How can I do this for much longer? Let alone hours longer.” … Then my body started to push, the nurse noticed and was worried. She warned me that I couldn’t push yet.

But it WAS time to push. They had to get some other doctor who wasn’t delivering a baby at the moment to come check, and my body knew what to do, I was ready… I didn’t have 4-8 more hours like they were telling me. This was like spotting land in the distance, after being lost at sea. My midwife appeared, and they gave me oxygen.

I pushed! Fearing no pain, feeling unstoppable… I was loud! I knew that people down the hall and in the other rooms could hear me, and I just didn’t care. I felt his head, and I pushed some more. And moments later (I think 13 min?), a life. A wet little body in my arms. 

…

Rewind 28 hours, and I was just a pregnant woman walking around the apartment wondering, WHEN will this baby ever come? And then, my water broke!!!! :)

I was too excited and happy to sleep. Plus, contractions (mild) woke me up ever 20 min to an hour. In the morning I showered, and on the way to the hospital, I made Abe stop at Trader Joe’s because I wanted apple sauce. Walking around the store, no one knew that I was in labor, and it was pretty funny. It was just an ordinary day for everyone else, but we were on a journey that would change our lives forever!

Like I said, Labor and Delivery was packed, and they couldn’t get me into a delivery room for over 2 hours. We were stuck in this tiny triage room with no bathroom… it was not ideal! I was still hardly dilated, so they gave me some medication to help soften my cervix, and whoa, things started to get a lot more intense after that.

Finally in the delivery room, we tried to settle in. The nurse though… It seemed like she came back from retirement because they were short staffed. She didn’t know how to work the computer. She asked me what my pain level was, then argued and put down what she thought I was feeling — alright! I didn’t feel like I could trust her, and she made me nervous.

The waiting game… Meditation, mantras, breathing, bouncing, leaning on the bed, taking a really hot shower in the dark bathroom while dancing to drums. My husband put counter pressure on my hips during contractions, and that was really helpful. You try everything, and just ride the waves.

The waves grew larger and closer together. But my midwife checked my cervix and, she over embellished to make me feel better because, I was still less than 3cm.

Birth will strip away any ego or shame we might usually have guarding us. I never even peed with my husband in the room, but today, I was going number two with my arms wrapped around his waist. We reached a whole new level, haha. (The details of this chapter don’t need to be on the internet…. so, moving on!!!)

And that brings us back to where I started this story. Hours of intensity, with seemingly no end in sight. Holding on with just my breath and the support of my husband. With all the experience the nurses had, my body knew better. And I can only imagine that the second time around, knowing that will be my biggest ally.

Trust your body. We are capable of so much more than we can imagine. Birth is hard, but I can’t think of anything that could be more rewarding. No one can take that away from us.

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Minimalist Momma's Must Haves

Anyone who knows me, knows I cannot stand “stuff”! If I can get rid of things, it makes me much happier than it does to get new things. And anyone with children, knows that (no matter how hard you try) “stuff” accumulates over night!

New moms get so much advice on the best “stuff” (often from BuyBuyBaby ads) to have for their baby. Much of it is nonsense if you ask me, but some things I just couldn’t live without!!

The Top 5 Newborn Must Haves

Haakaa For breastfeeding moms, this is a game changer!! Pumping sucks… I needed to shoot a wedding 3 weeks after Amir was born, and I needed to build up a 12 hour supply of breast milk, and fast! Pumping was scary, it hurt, and I wasn’t getting milk (probably because I was so tense and hated it). BUT, with the Haakaa, it’s 100% painless (Also you don’t end up with a million parts to wash). I would wear the Haakaa on one side when nursing the baby on the other, and it would collect an once per day. Some women can get much more than that! It saved my life! I almost NEVER have to use my breast pump. It is also affordable.

Nose Frida Babies have tiny little noses, and they get stuffed up so easily. :( This handy dandy device would allow me to clear his nose. I don’t know what we would do without it! We never left the house with out this thing. Unlike the old fashioned bulb sucker, this allows you to see exactly how much you are getting out, AND best of all, you can take it apart and WASH IT in seconds! :) And it might seem gross, but there is a thick sponge that would stop any boogies from getting sucked up into the straw, so have no fear!

Changing Pad Liners As your little one gets older, these won’t be as dire. BUT, I still use them, and will until he is potty trained. But when you are changing a newborn, the blow out diapers and the peeing all over the place is a regular occurrence. You only really need one changing pad cover, if you have enough of these liners on hand! (I would have about 6 total, you can go through 3 in one night.) They are so quick to swap out for a clean one, rather than changing the whole cover.

Swaddles I loved to swaddle Amir when he was so tiny and small. Once your little one learns to roll over you will likely switch to sleep sacks, but until then these worked much better in my opinion. They are also great as burp cloths, or as something to cover the floor/bed/grass while you lay them down. They make a nice light weight blanket to take along with you incase it gets a little chilly, or if the sun is beaming down on them. And I love the adorable patterns. They are great for covering up while nursing in public, and I plan to use one of them as a scarf!

Bouncer There is a difference between a bouncer, a swing, a sit-me-up, and a jumper (and there are so many styles and brands of each). This is extremely confusing when they seem like the same thing and you don’t know what to put on your registry. The bouncer, (in particular the one we have grows with them), for little baby to apparently a 2 year old. This thing was pricy, way more expensive than other bouncers, but I like its minimal design and fold ability. It is so easy to clean too! My friend takes theirs to the beach all the time.

Toys That Grow With Them

Children learn through play, and as babies develop, they will need different toys…

But this could mean a truck load of toys in your living room, after just a few months. (UGH, kill me now!) I wish that my home still looked like the zen garden that it once was, but we are doing a decent job at keeping the toy accumulation to a minimum. Best way to do this? Find the toys that grow with them!

Musical Instruments We were lucky enough to get a bag full of musical instruments and they were his first toys. Before Amir could even grasp something, or see a drum to hit, he could hear the sounds when we would play them. Once he could hold onto something, the maracas were his favorite. And now at around 10 months old, he loves to bang on the drum, and shake (and bite) all of the other fun noise makers. And who knows, it might open his world to the love of music, and I can see him playing with these toys for years to come. (I have fun playing with them too.)

Activity Mat Laying on their back, with toys above them was about the only thing that a baby can do for the first 2 months that doesn’t involve you having to hold them. Because trust me, sometimes you just NEED to put them down! (Unless you don’t pee, shower, cook, get dressed, eat, or work.) I didn’t realize at first how versatile this mat was. Most toys are only good for a phase… about 2 months or something. But this was a staple for at least 6 months, and we still use the removable little toys that hang from the top. I even put a blanket over the top for a mini fort! There are a million styles of these, so you will be sure to find one to fit your aesthetic.

Books ( << That one is his current favorite.) We have a black and white book that Amir loved even as a two week old. Black and white contrast is one of the only things a newborn can see. It was beautiful to see his eyes widen when something came into his focus for the very first time. He would just look, and I wondered so bad what he might be thinking! Now when we read it to him, he tries to mimic the animal sounds. And obviously books are something that we are never too old to enjoy!

The Surprising Bonus Buys

Derma Frida When you buy one thing, and it serves four purposes, it’s a major win! :) My son had some dry skin on his scalp as a newborn, and this is made to gently exfoliate. It did the job, and you can also use it as a wash cloth. But Amir LOVES to use it as a teether. Out of all the teethers that we got for him, this one is his favorite. The little nub that sicks out as a handle, he puts it in his mouth like a pacifier! Haha. And when my children are grown, I believe this will make an excellent veggie scrubber. :)

Stacking Bowls Instead of buying one of the stacking toys out there, why not get something that is functional too!? I love these, and use them all the time, and it is now his favorite “toy” to play with while we are in the kitchen. And one day I am sure we will use them to bake cookies together too. :)

Other Toys that You Didn’t Know Were Toys: recycling, rolling pin, rubber spatula, plastic hangers, old computer keyboard, yoga matt, laundry, boxes, dad’s ear, and the spot on the floor that won’t come off.

Friendly Tip

Find some mom friends with little cuties that are a little older, and a little younger. Not only will you find friendship and support among woman that will understand, but, I see no better way to find a new home for the “stuff” your baby has out grown. As well as save a lot of money by accepting cute and loved hand me downs!

I hope you found some of these ideas and links helpful! Moms, I would love to hear your must haves down below!!

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You might also like “Preparing for Birth”, and coming soon… “Baby Gear to Skip!”

Letter to my Mom

Dear Mom,

Many have told me, that once I became a mother, I’d understand you better... and I kinda blew it off. I’m pretty good at seeing things from other people’s shoes. But... I can admit, I was wrong. 

I just “get it” a little more than I could before. Now I picture you so clearly, sitting in your wooden rocking chair, nursing your little babies at all hours of the night. The house dark, silent, and knowing how dad liked to save on heat… it was probably quite chilly too. 

You gave us everything you had. Your body, your energy… your every last nerve, you gave to my sisters and me. Starting with 9 months of sharing your body with another life, (Not to mention the indescribable pain of natural birth! Which you did THREE times!), followed by months of sleepless nights! But it only starts there. It’s really about all of the tiny moments that come after that. The countless times that moms put themselves second. It’s really hard, but moms do it happily. 

I understand now, that part of you leaves your body and then becomes someone independent of you. Suddenly their hunger, their comfort and needs become more important than your own. So when that tiny baby grows up, and goes through a “14 year old rebellious stage”, ouch, that has got to hurt and hurt really deep. I have said sorry for that a thousand times, but I know I can’t say sorry enough. :) But I also know, you have forgiven me.

You are my hair stylist, human spell check, wedding florist, birthday event planner, dad translator, and biggest fan. You were the first to know when a boyfriend was bad news, and the first to know that Abraham was the one! I am proud to say, “Mom, you were right!”

Motherhood is hard and often thankless. So, thank you mom. Thank you for all the times I forgot to say thank you.

I love you,

Sarah

Work Life Balance and Mom Guilt

With Mother’s Day just around the corner, I wanted to share a little bit about what it is like to be a working mom. In particular, what it was like as a new mom, and a stay at home business owner. Ironically many working moms now find themselves working from home as well, and can see the perks and the challenges that come along with it, first hand.

As my world came to a stop, and I gave birth to our little boy, life outside my emotional cocoon kept going. The e-mails and phone calls kept coming.

I received an email while I was at the hospital, in labor. Someone asking for information about family photos. I send these types of e-mail responses all of the time, so I tried to reply. But I just didn’t have the ability to focus… even between the mid-level contractions. So, I put my phone down, knowing that because I didn’t respond right away, I wouldn’t book this job.

At home with a 2 week old, emotional and sleep deprived, with stitches almost healed… I returned a missed call.( A woman was asking about doing a photo session in a few months.) I got her voicemail, so I gave her some information and explained, “I just had a baby, I am taking some time, but I’ll get back to you in further detail as soon as I can.” … but she just kept calling!

And there I was, faced with a new equation to balance. How do I give this perfect new life all of my love and attention while keeping up with the busy wedding season, and continue to uphold my standards for my clients.

Questions in my head: How soon can I be healed up and carry my camera equipment? What will a 12 hour work day be like when running on little to no sleep? How will I feel to be away from my baby for the first time? Will he take a bottle? My son wants to nurse every hour, and I have editing and emails piling up… Should I have closed shop for a few months?

Mothers know, that “mom guilt” is no joke. I would look at him sleeping in my arms, and say, “I could never be good enough”. That is truly how it feels.

But! In my opinion I have the best case scenario. I get to be a stay at home mom AND do what I love for a living! So if my tiny baby has to share my lap with my computer sometimes, that’s fine. If he has to learn to play on his own a bit more so that I can get work done, I will have to forgive myself. And if I didn’t take any maternity leave, it is only so that I can make this life work, and be with him as much as possible!

So to all the mom’s out there who ask themselves how they will do it, or if you are doing the right thing... You are doing an amazing job, and you are enough.

You might also like “If this Bunny Could Talk”.

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If This Bunny Could Talk!

I had to hold back tears when I unwrapped this soft little bunny, and gave it a hug for the first time. My sister Amanda, hand made it for my son before he was born.

If his bunny could talk, it might say…

“You were so small, and I blinked my eyes and now you are bigger than I am! You are getting so strong, and soon you will be dragging me by the arm on so many adventures.”

A few months later, I placed baby Amir next to his bunny, and was shocked at how small he was compared to it. Each month I photograph Amir with his bunny, and it shows not only how he is growing in size, but where he is at developmentally. He recently turned six months old, and I could no longer get him to stay still or lay on his back.

I have now added a photography package called “Milestones”. So that parents can capture their teeny tiny new born, their awakening 2-4 month old, their sitting and smiling 6 month old, and their cake smashing, wobbly walking one year old! Each of these chapters in the first year are so special and unique from one another. It is almost like a new person emerges with each phase. I recommend that parents choose an item for us to photograph their baby with, and that object will tell a story! … You were once tiny, then you grew, and grew, and grew! :)

Contact me for more info on Milestones photo packages!

If you enjoy this post, you might also like, Please Don’t Grow.

Please Don't Grow

How can your heart grow bigger and break apart all at the same time? Just have a baby, and watch them grow.

My friend Jenn said it perfectly,

“Parenting is a continual process of letting go and welcoming the new”.

Having a baby is the perfect metaphor for time passing. No matter how tight we hold them, and no matter how deeply we look into their eyes, we cannot hold onto time.

Perhaps that’s why I love photography so much.

It is the closest thing we can do, to hold onto time. To at the very least, take a little trip back into our memories.

Haven’t we all tried to stop time? Like, when we were on a date, young and in love, and we knew it had to come to an end, but we just wanted to kiss in the parking lot a little bit longer. Or when on vacation, and the sun and the breeze mixed together in a way, that just made us want to melt into the waves, and never ever worry about real life again!

Children remind us just how quickly time is moving… It already feels like a dream that we felt that first kick inside our bellies. Before we know it, that moment of holding their helpless newborn body to our chest, is a distant memory as well.

“It goes so fast”, EVERYONE tells you this, but still …it’s so so fast. It’s almost too fast to bear.

As I fold up the onesie that was once too big, but is already too small, I say to my baby out loud, “please don’t grow”. But of course, I don’t really mean that. Watching our little ones grow is a one of life’s greatest blessings. But I know, one day, when my little baby is a grown man, I’ll pull that tiny onesie out of the box… I will fall to my knees, press it to my face, and my heart will break and fill with gratitude all at once.

You might also like, “If this Bunny Could Talk”.