Birth is profound, and life changing. Birth is natural, and a woman’s body is perfectly designed to nurture, deliver, and nourish her baby.
I didn’t take any birth classes, but I sure as hell did my homework! All of those tools came in handy, from breathing techniques to music playlists. … And, with the incredible support from my husband, we were able to safely, and naturally, deliver our healthy happy baby boy.
I am NOT offering any medical advice (duh), just sharing what worked for me. :)
First I asked myself: When do I feel the most afraid or weak, and what has helped me through those times? And, when do I feel the most powerful, the most sensual, the most alive?
I knew I wanted a natural labor, and word on the street, it was going to hurt. Our unique experiences in life shape our relationship to adversity. Tapping into how my brain is wired, helped me to know just what would really help ME, when the going got tough. The more you understand what clicks in your mind, the more you can call on times that you got through something you thought you couldn’t, the more you can prepare and the more you can communicate your needs to your partner and birth team.
Just Breath:
Number one thing that I found helped me through pregnancy, and all stages of labor, was breathing! Check out this awesome video to learn helpful breathing techniques. I reference these types of breathing below.
Affirmations:
I put together a list of my own affirmations that really clicked with me. I read them throughout the day, while meditating, before bed. (Examples are: I trust my body. I can birth fearlessly. It’s okay to feel pain. My baby is safe.) Look into HypnoBirthing if you feel this will help you. Also you can listen to this free meditation in the months or days leading up to delivery.
Also check out my dear friend Lopa, of Purandhri Hypnotherapy. She is a clinical hypnotherapist, who specializes in empowering woman through birth and so much more.
Early Labor:
My water broke at home. I was SO EXCITED!!! I could easily breath through these contractions and tried to sleep, shower, and relax. (But I was way too excited!!) After 12 hours of mild/random contractions, my midwives told me I should come down to the hospital. (Your midwife/OB will tell you, but this video also talks about when you should head to the hospital.)
What Helps: Keep things normal (haha yeah right!), and stay home as long as you can. Watch TV, use relaxing breaths, a warm shower, cuddle, nap, eat some snacks, hydrate.
How Your Partner Can Help: Stay with her, encourage her to relax. Take care of a few last minute things at home, like taking out the trash (so that she doesn’t feel tempted to do it). A massage wouldn’t be so bad either! :)
Hard Labor:
Okay, whoa! This is not fun anymore! Your body has to transform (dilate) in order for a baby to come out, and that process is intense! Admitted into the hospital, I was hooked up to monitors and had an IV port in my arm, that was definitely annoying. Labor tubs were not available at the time, so I took 2 really hot showers with the lights off. My husband put on my meditation playlist, and that was NOT cutting it! Soothing music at the moment was the most irritating thing imaginable!!! We switched it to my dance playlist, and I moved through the pain!
What Helps: Use relaxing breaths between contractions, and J breaths during contractions. Find an affirmation that really connects and gives you reassurance and strength. Keep moving, and try different positions. (I have heard people like to use a birthing ball, but for me that was terrible, and dancing, or leaning on the bed or shower walls helped best.) Use tub or shower if available. Give into the pain, don’t try and make it go away, ‘cuz it won’t :)!
How Your Partner Can Help: Squeeze her hips and/or put counter pressure on lower back during contractions to help with pain. Offer sips of water. Don’t be offended if she doesn’t want you to touch her, or if she is short with you. Reassure her that she is safe, and her body is strong and doing great. This video shows lots of different ways to help her manage pain naturally.
Transition:
Transition is the hardest part for most (and it definitely was for me)! This is when a woman dilates from 8-10cm. Contractions are back to back with no break between. This stage is when self doubt can really creep in. I personally felt that I couldn’t see, hear, or speak… it was all consuming. (This is a great video with a doula that explains the transition faze in full detail.)
What Helps: Just breath, just keep breathing, and know that YOU WILL get through it. Use the J breath, and don’t afraid to be loud! If you feel the urge to push, and your medical staff tells you you are not ready, use short controlled in and exhales (this is explained in the video linked above).
How Your Partner Can Help: Okay, time to take over. She needs you now more than ever. Stay calm and be strong. Remind her to breath. Remind her that it is almost over. Tell her that she can do this!
Pushing:
For me, this was the best part! Finally! I could do something to help end this… and meet our baby! :) I pushed for 17 minutes, but it only felt like 3-5 min. Sure it hurt, but nothing would stop me at this point, anything was better than what I just experienced. My midwife was here now (she was delivering other babies but thankfully swooped in just in time.) and she was able to tell me when to push.
What Helped: Again, breath! I was using a J breath, and I am sure that people from down the hall could hear me, haha. After the first push the midwife asked if I wanted to feel the head. I was very unsure, but so glad she made me feel, it was the biggest motivation!
How Your Partner Can Help: Hold her leg, or hold her hair. Be in the moment with her, and keep encouraging her to push! Remind her that she is about to hold her beautiful tiny baby!!!! And maybe get your phone ready for pictures?
Meet Your Baby:
No one needs advice here… just enjoy! You did it!
Everyone’s birth story is unique and beautiful, this was only my experience. If you would like an e-mail with a list of these links and many more. Or if you have any questions…
Photos I had the honor of taking, of a beautiful birth.
And to all of the Mommas out there who have to give birth without their support partner do to the Corona Virus…. I send you all the love and strength I have! …. Women are strong, our bodies are AMAZING and resilient. But, that doesn’t mean any woman should have to face birth alone. I know I am not a medical professional, and I understand that the situation with COVID-19 is serious, but I feel that this is wrong, inhumane, and unnatural.
WHO study that shows the importance of a support person during labor and birth.